where wild roses grow
by mirajens
Summary: The morning comes and it's time for pretenses. ―NaLu


**Notes:** Much angst. Very tragedy. That is about as much warning I can give in doge meme fashion. Tread softly. _The scene in italics are flashbacks btw_.

**Dedication:** This is dedicated to _**Amenah** _because I heard you like NaLu ;)

**Disclaimer:** Hiro Mashima owns Fairy Tail.

* * *

_Three is the magic number._

_There are three hooded demons that appear before Natsu and Lucy. They are the same three demons who Natsu battles with his mighty fire; the same three demons Lucy fights with the spirits she summons from another world. It lasts three hours, but it feels like three eternities until there are not anymore three demons, but just one. The strongest one._

_Natsu is worn to a frazzle. So is Lucy, but she has a tiny bit more magic than a fully magically exhausted Natsu. So it is she who stands before the powerful demon while Natsu bleeds out in the sidelines, still alive but just barely._

_One spirit, two spirit, three spirit before Lucy is out of the count and the enemy still stands._

_And it is with three strikes to her gut that Lucy falls and Natsu screams._

_._

_._

_._

**where wild roses grow**

by _mirajens  
_.

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The morning comes and it's time for pretenses.

Sunlight seeps through the open windows and it falls on Natsu's face like a thousand warm kisses and he cannot be bothered to rise. He feels too toasty in Lucy's bed with her week old sheets pooled at his feet and her pillows soft under his head. He thinks he will pull a Lucy and avoid the guild today because it's too sunny out and Fairy Tail stopped being happy.

He'll stay in Lucy's bed, he thinks.

The woman herself is already up and about, writing letters she would never send, an untouched cup of tea by her elbows.

Natsu calls her over because he already misses her.

Lucy hears her name and when she looks at Natsu, all she feels is tiredness and wanderlust and the phantom pain of one, two, three stabs in her stomach. She doesn't want to spend any more time here with Natsu but she humors him anyway and sits by his head.

"I have to leave, Natsu." She tells him simply, carding her fingers through his mop of hair. This is what she keeps telling him for the past four days but he only holds onto her more tightly and _Mavis,_ Lucy just wants to go on.

The boy almost purrs under her touch, oblivious. He has always been so. "No, don't go." He insists. He wonders where Lucy wanted to go when she isn't even dressed out of her sleepwear and her face still has bed marks. She is lovely like this, he thinks. In battle when her clothes are ripped in places and her hair is dirty, she is also lovely. When she is dressed up for dinner she is radiant. Under him when she is naked and her head is thrown back and her back arches off the bed she is a vision. But it is these instances when she is unaware and carefree that she is most beautiful.

"Why is it so hard for you to let me go?" She asks in that whiney voice of hers that he still loves hearing after all these years.

"Because I love you, Luce." He tells her simply, a big, bright smile on his face.

He is confused when tears track down Lucy's cheeks.

* * *

Natsu enters Fairy Tail, looking chipper in the way clowns are surrounded with mock cheer but are secretly miserable. There is noticeably less activity in the guild; everyone seems to be just brooding into their drinks and whispering quietly amongst themselves as if someone is in a box getting lowered into the dirt. The people of Fairy Tail are lackluster, and it is worrisome. Erza is not commandeering order because no one is making a fuss. Cana has never been so active around the guild but now she ignores everyone and drowns her misery with bitter ale. Mirajane does not smile. Elfman finally shuts the fuck up about men and Evergreen is not yelling at him. Gray and Juvia sit together, thankful that it wasn't their couple cut down to one. Solitary Gajeel has even sought out Levy's company.

No wants to take any more chances with their loved ones.

When Natsu steps inside, he is greeted with equal parts of pity and trepidation. The past few days, everyone treats him like a ticking time bomb. Natsu is not stupid. He knows this has been happening since he came back from that last mission with Lucy and she ended up in the hospital.

No one can look him in the eye anymore.

So he plasters a grin on his face and yells, "Don't worry, everyone. Lucy's okay."

As if it was possible, it gets quieter throughout the guild. In a manner that was unnerving, Natsu felt everyone's attention on him. He is uneasy, but he continues, "I always tell her to come back to the guild but I don't think she's ready yet."

From the back of the room, he hears Levy sob into her small, shaking hands. Cana glares at Natsu as she moves to comfort the crying girl. It seems no one wants to talk about Lucy.

Weird.

* * *

Lucy is crying again when he finds her the next time.

A part of him is used to seeing her like this. Since their last mission, all Lucy ever does is cry and she won't tell him why. In the morning she weeps gently until Natsu wakes up to her silent tears. In the afternoon she curls up in the couch with tear tracks marking her cheeks and Natsu thinks that she's done crying. But in the night, she cries again and its horrible, loud, just a little bit alarming and plenty upsetting. Natsu hates seeing her like this, all vulnerable and brokenhearted.

Even though he thinks he's used to her tears, ice still grips his heart when he sees her cry. He is by her side in an instant, hands soothing and tone soft. "Lucy," he repeats her name once, twice, thrice and she still weeps. "Tell me what's wrong, Luce."

"I just want to leave, Natsu." She wails, "I'm tired. So tired."

He makes shushing noises as be stokes her hair. "You can rest, Lucy. But you don't have to go. You don't have to leave me."

A sob catches in her throat as she wishes to the stars that he would just let her go.

* * *

The next morning looks better to Natsu because Lucy agrees to venture out of the house and walk him to the guild. She makes it clear first that she won't go inside, that she'll just drop him off, and Natsu is too ecstatic to persuade her otherwise. Lucy hadn't left her apartment in days, so this was a very huge step.

He thinks she is getting better when he can't be anymore wrong.

Her small hand is in his as they walk to Fairy Tail and there is hesitance in her step as if she had forgotten how to walk outside the comfort of her home. Natsu is too giddy to notice this, though. He happily prattles on about their friends while Lucy silently treads beside him.

They stop in front of Fairy Tail's imposing structure. Natsu tugs on Lucy's hand as if urging her to come inside. "Come on, Luce. Everyone wants to see you. They miss you."

Lucy shakes her head. "I have to go now."

Irritation slips into Natsu's voice. "Where do you keep going?"

She smiles a coy smile, as if it was a game. It was better this way. "Nowhere." She quips. Then, "Everywhere."

Natsu stares hard into her eyes, serious now. "Take me with you. I just want to be with you."

Lucy shakes her head again, looking remorseful. "You belong here. Stay here." Her plea is desperate, but it still hides so much of what Natsu wants. He is still terribly confused at Lucy's mystery, but he doesn't push. "Please. For me."

He opens his mouth to respond but none of the endless questions in his mind are voiced. Instead, Lucy stands on her tiptoes so she can land a peck on his cheek before she walks off.

He thinks he hears her say goodbye.

Natsu watches her until he can't see her anymore, and then he enters the guild that is too quiet these days.

* * *

He doesn't see her again after that.

Her apartment is empty and cold, as if it hadn't been host to the two of them the past few days. Lucy's scent lingers, but it is hard to catch even with his sensitive nose. It feels like she is fading away, and it makes Natsu sentimental.

He stays in her house the whole day, waiting for her to come back.

She doesn't.

His vigil lasts five days until he gives up, deciding that Lucy probably went on some sort of vacation.

So he waits for her at the guild that is now colorless.

* * *

It is Gray who breaks the silence, a few days later.

The half-naked man struts up to Natsu's table, anger in his face and dangerous intent in his eyes. "I have to talk to you, Natsu."

Natsu never hears his name leave Gray's mouth unless the latter was serious. "You trying to pick a fight?" Natsu tossed back, already defensive. Gray only shakes his head.

"You fucking idiot," was Gray's preamble. "Why haven't you come to visit Lucy at the hospital?"

Natsu is confused. "What the hell are you talking about? She's not in the hospital—"

"Wake up!" Gray yells, his voice booming against the guild walls. "Stop acting like Lucy's okay! You stupid fucking bastard," Gray grips the front of Natsu's vest, exasperated beyond belief. Traitorous tears well in his eyes but he continues on. "Lucy's been in a coma since you got back from the mission and you never fucking came to see her." His cold hands clench tighter around Natsu's clothing, all his pent up misery and anger getting harder to silence. "Instead you fuck around, acting like she's okay when she's practically dead in some hospital room you never once step foot in." When Gray is shaking far too much, Erza steps up.

"Gray is right, Natsu. This pretense isn't healthy. Lucy is at death's doorstep, and she's only holding on long enough for you to say goodbye.

* * *

He goes to the hospital with Gray and Erza just to prove them wrong. Lucy is not here. She is just trying on an adventure. Erza directs him to Lucy's room, and that is when distress rolls around in his gut. When the white door swings open, he sees Lucy on the bed, but in his heart he knows it's not Lucy because Lucy was not some goddamn vegetable on a gurney.

Denial only lasted for so long until the fat lady sings. Then Natsu remembers everything.

* * *

_Desperation hangs in the air like a palpable fog, making it difficult to breathe. Or maybe that's just the hole under her lungs._

"_Natsu, I'm scared," Lucy wants to say, but nothing comes out but blood cascading down her mouth._

_A weak Natsu crawls to his love, tears already streaming from his eyes. "Oh, God, Lucy," he moans, cradling her in his arms. He remembers seeing three beams of light pierce through her stomach, but he looks at the wounds and they aren't as big as he initially thought. The nearest hospital is half an hour away._

_She will make it, he decides._

"_Hold on, Lucy. I'll get you safe."_

_With the last of his strength, he runs to Magnolia Hospital._

* * *

He falls onto his knees, his whole body trembling. Panic and wretchedness makes his head spin, a revolting combination.

"Lucy," he manages to choke out, not brave enough to touch the blonde who lay on the bed. "What have I done,"

"It wasn't your fault, Natsu." The armored woman consoles one of her oldest friends, feeling a new kind of helplessness.

"She's been suffering all this time." A stream of courage runs through the fire mage, permitting him to take hold of one of Lucy's fragile hands. So soft, even after everything they've been through. "You can go now, Luce. I'll miss you, but you can go."

Three people listen to the cardiac monitor flatline, and just like that, Lucy is gone.

It is almost morning again and there will be no more pretenses.

* * *

**AN:** EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE FIRST NALU FANFICTION. How did I do? Of course its angsty I know of little else. I know the ending is pretty shitty because I ran out of writing juice, so there's a huge chance I'll edit that when I'm not sick anymore.

So I thought I'd explain what happened in **tl;dr** fashion because the narration is pretty shitty and confusing imo. Lucy and Natsu went on a mission where Lucy got gravely injured (a la Gray Fullbuster, only in the stomach). Natsu took her to the hospital and after surgery, she went into a coma. After this, Natsu uses denial to cope with grief, and he starts to see Lucy's spirit/soul/ghost thingy. So the Ghost!Lucy is stuck in Earth until Natsu comes to terms with her imminent death, and all she wants to do is move on to wherever dead people's souls go, ergo her constantly begging Natsu to let her go.

_**Please don't add this to your favorites/alerts if you're not going to review.**_


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